So Brandon has been gone for 2 weeks, with the exception of 2 nights.  Luckily one of those was my birthday. I didn't plan anything, but all in all it was a good day. Miss E and I went to lunch with Tammy and Michelle then went to feed the ducks.  That is her favorite thing to do now and we go at least 2 times a week.  That night Brandon took us to Longhorn to get my favorite meal, the crab stuffed filet.  It's amazing! I had lunch with Erin and Logan Saturday afternoon and dinner with Angela Saturday night.  Then we went and got some material to make Miss E a tutu.  It turned out really great!

 I was thinking about making and selling them just as something to do, but instead of people asking me to make them they are asking me how I made it.  I've told 2 people because they live far away and are not in my target area, but I don't think I'm going to tell anyone else.

September is literally a few days away and I'm so excited!  It marks the beginning of football season, our wedding anniversary, beginning of fall, and our vacation(in that order). Our vacation has been so stressful to plan, but we finally have everything nailed down and finalized. We had to learn a hard lesson along the way(don't assume "family" won't screw you over), but in the end, we wound up with something better.

I'm hoping that Brandon gets to come home tonight and I'm hoping that he will be home Saturday night so we can go out for our anniversary.  I already arranged a baby sitter for Miss E so fingers crossed!

Peace and Quiet.

It is 8:15pm which means Miss E is in bed and I finally have some quiet time. I love this time of day.  Brandon is out of town for work so it is just me and I am enjoying it. She has been really good and then the past 2 days she has been extremely moody. She has her canines coming in, 2 of the 4 have popped through. I'm hoping we get a break from teething until her 2 year molars come in. 

I've been staying off the computer more to focus on Elyse during the day and to have time with Brandon at night. I realized I was spending way too much time on Facebook and that's time that I could be focused on doing things with Elyse. I did peek on there today and after reading maybe 3 status updates I shut it off. People post ridiculous things and it really gets on my nerves.  I need to go through and clean out my friends list so I can get on there without getting annoyed. 

My birthday is in a few weeks and I've decided that I'm not going to do anything for it. The past few years has been a pain to try to get everyone together.  Last year we had 14 people say they would come and when the night came, only 4 people showed up to dinner. So I'm over trying to plan things. It really hurt my feelings last year and put a damper on the night, so I'm sparing my feelings this year. Our anniversary is 2 weeks to the day after my birthday.  Brandon is not good with the romance stuff so we will probably try to get a sitter and go to dinner or something. I want to go to Strip, I absolutely love that restaurant! Then our vacation is just a few weeks after that, so there is a lot to look forward to.  I am so ready for the cooler weather.  Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. 

August marks 10 years of Brandon and I being together.  A whole decade.  That makes me feel old saying it that way. We have come to a break-thru in our marriage and it's really great.  We have always had a good relationship, but there is always room for improvement.  Communication was where we needed our improvement and this past week we have really turned that around and it has made things so much better. 

Now I am getting off of here and going to get some much needed relaxing time in!

Serentity. Courage. Wisdom.

We all know the Serenity Prayer, right?  I LOVE this prayer, it really has so much meaning to me. I've been wanting to get it tattooed on me for awhile, just wasn't sure where I wanted it.  Coincidentally I have also been wanting a tattoo on my right foot since I have one on my left. Well Saturday night, Brandon and I finally got a much needed date night. At the end of the night, I asked if we could go by and see if it was even feasible to get what I wanted done and get it priced. So we go in and I tell them what I wanted and how I wanted and it and they said it could be done and got a good price on it and said that we could do it that night!  I was beyond excited! So here it is:

Excuse the shadows, it was bad lighting and Brandon is standing right over it to take the picture.  This was #6 and my most painful to date!
For Those of you who are not familiar with the prayer, this is it:

God grant me...

Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can

and

Wisdom to know the difference.

Awesome words to live by.

Terrible Two's: Fact or Fiction?

At this point I'm going to go ahead and say FACT!  My previously sweet, well mannered, well tempered child has become a tantrum throwing, messy, loud, hitting, screaming toddler. The past few times we have went out, we have had at least one episode whereas we used to go out and get so many compliments on how well behaved our child was.  So at the age of 18 months (as of tomorrow) my child seems to have officially hit the terrible two's.  

We still have our fun and when she is in a good mood, she is still the best child ever. But she has discovered her wild tantrum throwing side that is not so much fun.  The worst is the hitting.  I can't stand that.  I have popped her hand and her butt for other things, but I really don't think spanking her when she hits is effective. Telling her not to hit as I'm spanking her?  That's sending mixed signals.  So I am experimenting in the discipline area and hopefully will find something that is effective. 

Luckily her tantrums are still few(but not far between) and are still manageable.  But where she used to be content in the cart while we shop or in her high chair during dinner, she wants down and wants to wander around.  Because of this new development we are now the proud owners of a toddler backpack leash.  It's a cute little dog that is a harness and she seems to like it.  People have looked at me like I'm insane when they see her in it, but to me it just makes sense.  When she won't sit in the cart and doesn't want to hold my hand, what am I supposed to do?  I am not one to let my child scream in public and I will not let her walk around without some connection to me, so this is the perfect solution.  She gets a little deserved freedom and mommy is comfortable because she is still attached to me.

It's not all bad though. I prefer to call it the "Trying Two's" because it's not really terrible. She is at a really fun stage and we are able to do so much with her. She is like a little sponge absorbing everything around her and it's awesome to watch her transform from a baby to a little girl. Her vocabulary has really exploded these past few weeks and we can really communicate well. At the stage of development that she is at, it's easy to get frustrated and I know that's where the tantrums are stemming from.  So the best thing I can do is be patient and work with her as much as possible and try to avert frustrations before they occur.  It's a learning experience for us all, but we are doing it together.  Like with everything else, it's just a phase and it will eventually work itself out.

Mid-mid life crisis

I got my tag renewal in the mail last week and that reminded me that my 26th birthday is rapidly approaching. I'm inching closer and closer to 30. For some reason I'm having a hard time coming to terms that I'm going to be 26.  25 was easy, 26, not so much. Maybe it's the fact that now I have to dye my hair to cover the gray hairs instead of wanting to dye it because I've grown tired of the color. Maybe it's because I don't feel like I've accomplished a whole lot as an adult when I look at the people around me who have graduated college and have these awesome careers.  Maybe it's because I feel like I'm just a mom and wife. Maybe it's because I miss the feelings of when Brandon and I first started dating 10 years ago. Now we are more like a couple that have been together for 20 years. After the hustle and bustle of a busy day, you can find him in the recliner watching t.v and playing on his phone or lap top and me on the couch reading, playing on my phone or on the lap top.

So what does a person going through a mid life crisis do? They make changes.  That's what I did. I dyed my hair a different color, cut over 8 inches of it off and went and got contacts (no more glasses!). With the psoriasis gone, I feel a lot better and more confident and it's amazing how much little changes can make you feel so much better. So for now, I'm feeling a bit better, but I do have some things to work on.

Tomorrow Miss E is going with her grandparents down to Meriwether and Brandon is out of town working, so I will have the day to myself. I can't explain how much needed this is. I actually stayed up late tonight cleaning so I won't have to spend my day tomorrow doing that. I still have some stuff that I need to do, but I'm hoping for some relaxing time. Hoping is the key word there=)

Way overdue!

I feel bad that I haven't been writing much, but honestly, I don't have much going on.  

Well that's kinda true, kinda not true. We've been having several issues with our bank that is extremely stressful. Back in March we canceled Brandon's debit card and got him a new one due to fraudulent activity. Somehow, transactions are still going through on that card and they keep wiping our bank account. I know your probably thinking "well just close the account and open a new one".  If only it were that simple.  It's a joint account, so Brandon and I both have to be there, and with his schedule, that is almost impossible.  Secondly, we have so many direct drafts and his check goes direct deposit. We have to find another bank, open an account, and start moving everything over. Again, with Brandon's schedule, it's hard to go open a new account somewhere.  Hopefully he will be getting some days off since they are incident free and we can get this taken care of.  They took $3500 out this morning and cleaned us out again.  Luckily Brandon was able to get up there and sign the affidavit before getting called out, so the money should be back in tonight/tomorrow morning. 

I finally broke down and went to the dermatologist l ast Thursday. I wish I would have done it last year.  The place on the back of my head just got to where it was unbearable and I finally broke down and let Brandon look at it. He said that it looked like when Elyse had cradle cap(yuck!) and it covered the whole back of my head.  I knew that, I just didn't know what it looked like since I obviously cannot see the back of my head. I also keep getting places on my face.  Well I was diagnosed with Psoriasis and got 2 lotions, one for my eyelid and one for my scalp.  Brandon, being the amazing husband that he is, took care of putting my scalp lotion on, and no kidding, after about 3 uses (I have to use it 2x's a day), the Psoriasis on my head is GONE!  Brandon says that he can't see it at all anymore and I can't feel anything back there.  It still itches some, but that could be a mental thing.  So with it being gone, I am finally not freaked out about going and getting a haircut. It is badly needed, I just haven't gone because I haven't had the time and because I was embarrassed about my head.  I didn't know what it was so I couldn't explain it to a hair dresser.  The Dr said that Psoriasis is sometimes hereditary(sorry Miss E), but is most likely caused by emotional stress.  Since it got bad during my pregnancy with Miss E, that makes sense.  The place on my eyelid is just about gone too, you can't even really see it anymore.  I just can't even put into words what a huge relief this is.

We are still looking at houses and trying to move.  Now it's more important than ever since our distance from Brandon's job is preventing him from getting a promotion.  We've looked at at least 30 houses and just can't find anything. Hopefully we will find something soon because I really dislike living so far out. I need to be closer to family and friends. Plus we are going to the beach at the end of September and I don't want anything getting in the way of our much needed vacation. 

I got one more thing going on too, just nothing that I'm ready to talk about just quite yet=)

Little bit of this, little bit of that.

Well we found out that the house that we fell in love with already has a contract on it.  We were quite upset that our real estate agent didn't do his homework and showed us the house without knowing for sure it was available.  We haven't lost hope yet though because when we found out and called him, he called us back and said that the people haven't done any of the paperwork or anything on it, so I've been checking the website daily.  I feel bad for hoping the other people don't get it, but I still really feel like this is supposed to be our home.  

My bio dads ex girlfriend(did you get all that?) wrote me on FB today and said that she had found a bunch of pictures of me.  They would have been when I was 8 or 9 and I have no pictures from that age at all.  I told her that I would love to see them and may go meet her for lunch or dinner on Sunday.  Depending on how I feel.  I caught Brandon's cold, so I'm trying to battle it off.  I'm hoping she will let me take them and make copies of them to have.  I'm slowly but surely building up my pile of childhood pictures.  

Last Sunday we met my cousins for brunch.  I was pretty excited, we were close when we were younger.  I hadn't seen them in years, at least 7.  They've both been in some trouble and have done time, but they really seem to be trying to get their lives together and that really makes me happy.  John especially because he has a 7 year old son that needs his daddy.  I'm happy to have some contact with some of my biological family and am hopeful to see what the future holds.  They invited me over to see my aunt(who has Huntington's) and I am going to go see her.  Just haven't decided when yet.  I will have to get a baby sitter for Miss E.  I generally don't bring her around until I know for sure what is going to happen.  I try to shield her from as much of my past as I possible can.  I did bring her to see John and Chris though because there are no bad feelings with them.  They did tell my that Angie(bio mom) escaped or got let out by accident from jail and is now on the run in New Jersey.  This is the kind of crap that I want to protect Miss E from. My family is so jacked up it's just ridiculous.  Although I would like to see Angie one more time, I have some things I would like to say to her, although it probably wouldn't be a good idea.  

I spoke with my aunt(adopted) today for the first time in probably a month or so.  I got some things off my chest and now feel better.  That's the good thing about us, if I get mad I take time to cool off, I call and get everything out and then we move on.  Anyway she told me that my littler brother didn't graduate high school.  I am so disappointed.  I was really hurt that I didn't receive an announcement or invitation and it turns out that he didn't graduate.  I just can't believe it.  She said that he has been getting into trouble and lying and that is just heartbreaking to me.  I really had high hopes for him, especially because he knows where lying and getting into trouble leads to.  I just don't understand, but I will be praying for him.  I wrote him on FB and sent him a text, so hopefully he will return it.  I haven't talked to him in months, but I feel like I need to have a talk with him.  I found out that my other brother got out of jail and is already back up to his old tricks.  I will never understand the choices that he makes and why he makes them.  Even though I don't speak with my adopted mother, I can't help but feel bad for her and the crap he puts her through.  


Talking to her and listening to what all has been going on makes me so grateful that I have a normal happy life.  `I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me unconditionally and works so hard so that I can stay home with Elyse.  I am so blessed that I have a perfect healthy little girl who is a momma's girl.  I just want to put her in a little bubble and protect her from everything forever.  I know that I can't and eventually I will have to send her out into the world, but for now, I'm just fine with her being glued to my side 24-7.