Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Way overdue!

I feel bad that I haven't been writing much, but honestly, I don't have much going on.  

Well that's kinda true, kinda not true. We've been having several issues with our bank that is extremely stressful. Back in March we canceled Brandon's debit card and got him a new one due to fraudulent activity. Somehow, transactions are still going through on that card and they keep wiping our bank account. I know your probably thinking "well just close the account and open a new one".  If only it were that simple.  It's a joint account, so Brandon and I both have to be there, and with his schedule, that is almost impossible.  Secondly, we have so many direct drafts and his check goes direct deposit. We have to find another bank, open an account, and start moving everything over. Again, with Brandon's schedule, it's hard to go open a new account somewhere.  Hopefully he will be getting some days off since they are incident free and we can get this taken care of.  They took $3500 out this morning and cleaned us out again.  Luckily Brandon was able to get up there and sign the affidavit before getting called out, so the money should be back in tonight/tomorrow morning. 

I finally broke down and went to the dermatologist l ast Thursday. I wish I would have done it last year.  The place on the back of my head just got to where it was unbearable and I finally broke down and let Brandon look at it. He said that it looked like when Elyse had cradle cap(yuck!) and it covered the whole back of my head.  I knew that, I just didn't know what it looked like since I obviously cannot see the back of my head. I also keep getting places on my face.  Well I was diagnosed with Psoriasis and got 2 lotions, one for my eyelid and one for my scalp.  Brandon, being the amazing husband that he is, took care of putting my scalp lotion on, and no kidding, after about 3 uses (I have to use it 2x's a day), the Psoriasis on my head is GONE!  Brandon says that he can't see it at all anymore and I can't feel anything back there.  It still itches some, but that could be a mental thing.  So with it being gone, I am finally not freaked out about going and getting a haircut. It is badly needed, I just haven't gone because I haven't had the time and because I was embarrassed about my head.  I didn't know what it was so I couldn't explain it to a hair dresser.  The Dr said that Psoriasis is sometimes hereditary(sorry Miss E), but is most likely caused by emotional stress.  Since it got bad during my pregnancy with Miss E, that makes sense.  The place on my eyelid is just about gone too, you can't even really see it anymore.  I just can't even put into words what a huge relief this is.

We are still looking at houses and trying to move.  Now it's more important than ever since our distance from Brandon's job is preventing him from getting a promotion.  We've looked at at least 30 houses and just can't find anything. Hopefully we will find something soon because I really dislike living so far out. I need to be closer to family and friends. Plus we are going to the beach at the end of September and I don't want anything getting in the way of our much needed vacation. 

I got one more thing going on too, just nothing that I'm ready to talk about just quite yet=)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Little bit of this, little bit of that.

Well we found out that the house that we fell in love with already has a contract on it.  We were quite upset that our real estate agent didn't do his homework and showed us the house without knowing for sure it was available.  We haven't lost hope yet though because when we found out and called him, he called us back and said that the people haven't done any of the paperwork or anything on it, so I've been checking the website daily.  I feel bad for hoping the other people don't get it, but I still really feel like this is supposed to be our home.  

My bio dads ex girlfriend(did you get all that?) wrote me on FB today and said that she had found a bunch of pictures of me.  They would have been when I was 8 or 9 and I have no pictures from that age at all.  I told her that I would love to see them and may go meet her for lunch or dinner on Sunday.  Depending on how I feel.  I caught Brandon's cold, so I'm trying to battle it off.  I'm hoping she will let me take them and make copies of them to have.  I'm slowly but surely building up my pile of childhood pictures.  

Last Sunday we met my cousins for brunch.  I was pretty excited, we were close when we were younger.  I hadn't seen them in years, at least 7.  They've both been in some trouble and have done time, but they really seem to be trying to get their lives together and that really makes me happy.  John especially because he has a 7 year old son that needs his daddy.  I'm happy to have some contact with some of my biological family and am hopeful to see what the future holds.  They invited me over to see my aunt(who has Huntington's) and I am going to go see her.  Just haven't decided when yet.  I will have to get a baby sitter for Miss E.  I generally don't bring her around until I know for sure what is going to happen.  I try to shield her from as much of my past as I possible can.  I did bring her to see John and Chris though because there are no bad feelings with them.  They did tell my that Angie(bio mom) escaped or got let out by accident from jail and is now on the run in New Jersey.  This is the kind of crap that I want to protect Miss E from. My family is so jacked up it's just ridiculous.  Although I would like to see Angie one more time, I have some things I would like to say to her, although it probably wouldn't be a good idea.  

I spoke with my aunt(adopted) today for the first time in probably a month or so.  I got some things off my chest and now feel better.  That's the good thing about us, if I get mad I take time to cool off, I call and get everything out and then we move on.  Anyway she told me that my littler brother didn't graduate high school.  I am so disappointed.  I was really hurt that I didn't receive an announcement or invitation and it turns out that he didn't graduate.  I just can't believe it.  She said that he has been getting into trouble and lying and that is just heartbreaking to me.  I really had high hopes for him, especially because he knows where lying and getting into trouble leads to.  I just don't understand, but I will be praying for him.  I wrote him on FB and sent him a text, so hopefully he will return it.  I haven't talked to him in months, but I feel like I need to have a talk with him.  I found out that my other brother got out of jail and is already back up to his old tricks.  I will never understand the choices that he makes and why he makes them.  Even though I don't speak with my adopted mother, I can't help but feel bad for her and the crap he puts her through.  

Talking to her and listening to what all has been going on makes me so grateful that I have a normal happy life.  `I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me unconditionally and works so hard so that I can stay home with Elyse.  I am so blessed that I have a perfect healthy little girl who is a momma's girl.  I just want to put her in a little bubble and protect her from everything forever.  I know that I can't and eventually I will have to send her out into the world, but for now, I'm just fine with her being glued to my side 24-7.