Thursday, June 2, 2011

Little bit of this, little bit of that.

Well we found out that the house that we fell in love with already has a contract on it.  We were quite upset that our real estate agent didn't do his homework and showed us the house without knowing for sure it was available.  We haven't lost hope yet though because when we found out and called him, he called us back and said that the people haven't done any of the paperwork or anything on it, so I've been checking the website daily.  I feel bad for hoping the other people don't get it, but I still really feel like this is supposed to be our home.  

My bio dads ex girlfriend(did you get all that?) wrote me on FB today and said that she had found a bunch of pictures of me.  They would have been when I was 8 or 9 and I have no pictures from that age at all.  I told her that I would love to see them and may go meet her for lunch or dinner on Sunday.  Depending on how I feel.  I caught Brandon's cold, so I'm trying to battle it off.  I'm hoping she will let me take them and make copies of them to have.  I'm slowly but surely building up my pile of childhood pictures.  

Last Sunday we met my cousins for brunch.  I was pretty excited, we were close when we were younger.  I hadn't seen them in years, at least 7.  They've both been in some trouble and have done time, but they really seem to be trying to get their lives together and that really makes me happy.  John especially because he has a 7 year old son that needs his daddy.  I'm happy to have some contact with some of my biological family and am hopeful to see what the future holds.  They invited me over to see my aunt(who has Huntington's) and I am going to go see her.  Just haven't decided when yet.  I will have to get a baby sitter for Miss E.  I generally don't bring her around until I know for sure what is going to happen.  I try to shield her from as much of my past as I possible can.  I did bring her to see John and Chris though because there are no bad feelings with them.  They did tell my that Angie(bio mom) escaped or got let out by accident from jail and is now on the run in New Jersey.  This is the kind of crap that I want to protect Miss E from. My family is so jacked up it's just ridiculous.  Although I would like to see Angie one more time, I have some things I would like to say to her, although it probably wouldn't be a good idea.  

I spoke with my aunt(adopted) today for the first time in probably a month or so.  I got some things off my chest and now feel better.  That's the good thing about us, if I get mad I take time to cool off, I call and get everything out and then we move on.  Anyway she told me that my littler brother didn't graduate high school.  I am so disappointed.  I was really hurt that I didn't receive an announcement or invitation and it turns out that he didn't graduate.  I just can't believe it.  She said that he has been getting into trouble and lying and that is just heartbreaking to me.  I really had high hopes for him, especially because he knows where lying and getting into trouble leads to.  I just don't understand, but I will be praying for him.  I wrote him on FB and sent him a text, so hopefully he will return it.  I haven't talked to him in months, but I feel like I need to have a talk with him.  I found out that my other brother got out of jail and is already back up to his old tricks.  I will never understand the choices that he makes and why he makes them.  Even though I don't speak with my adopted mother, I can't help but feel bad for her and the crap he puts her through.  

Talking to her and listening to what all has been going on makes me so grateful that I have a normal happy life.  `I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me unconditionally and works so hard so that I can stay home with Elyse.  I am so blessed that I have a perfect healthy little girl who is a momma's girl.  I just want to put her in a little bubble and protect her from everything forever.  I know that I can't and eventually I will have to send her out into the world, but for now, I'm just fine with her being glued to my side 24-7.

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