Sunday, July 22, 2012

My name is Meagan and I am a co-sleeper.

Today Brandon and I made a super bed. Meaning we pushed Miss E's twin bed up against our queen bed. It's pretty awesome! 

I guess that by the above statement you realize that we are a co-sleeping family. Not just co-sleeping, we take it one step further and bed share. That's right, our 2.5 year old daughter still sleeps in the same bed with us. *GASP* (enter eye roll here). 

I am SO sick of people thinking co-sleeping is unnatural or weird. Some people are very understanding, they are usually other peaceful parenting people like myself. Others just think it is so weird that we co-sleep. 

Let me start by saying that before we had a child, we said we would never bed share. That changed the day we got home from the hospital. I had a c/s that I had complications with and was breastfeeding. The thought of getting up every 1.5 to 2 hours to pick the baby up, feed her, then put the baby back down didn't sound too good to me. She did have a bassinet set up in our room. When she was hungry, Brandon would get up and bring her to me so I could feed her and then put her back down. But that got old really quick. It was SO much easier to have her beside me and when she got up, just pop a boob in her mouth til we both went back to sleep. Lazy, yes. I was a new, very sleep deprived mom. I had an incision that had complications and I was very sore. Plus I had a colicky baby that cried. A lot. She only seemed content at night when she was in bed next to me. So it worked. We all started sleeping great. She would still wake up to eat(she didn't drop her last night feeding til she was right at a year old), but she always went right back to sleep.

Now she is 2.5 and still loves to sleep with mommy and daddy. She was asking to sleep in her room on and off and we would always let her choose where she wanted to sleep. Even when she did go to sleep in her bed in her room, she would always wake up at some point and come in our bed. She has never slept an entire night in her room. We have never forced her to sleep where she doesn't want to. We have never made her "cry it out". We want her to be comfortable. If that's in our room with us, then so be it. We don't mind at all. There is going to be a day when she doesn't want to hang out with mommy and daddy so until then we are enjoying it. 

I get asked a lot why we just don't make her stay in her own bed in her room. I just simply say that is not where she wants to be. Then I get asked why don't we just let her cry. I then say that we are not believers in cry it out and we think that it is a horrible thing to do to a child who is crying. I could *never* let Miss E just cry and not respond to her cries. I wanted Miss E to know from day 1 that if she cried, mommy and daddy were going to respond and resolve whatever was wrong, even if she just wanted to be held. Then we, without fail, get asked the million dollar question. "If she is sleeping in your room/bed, then how do you and your husband have 'quality time'"? Or the "Oh, you guys must not have a very good sex life with your kid in your room all the time" To this I answer(with a smile on my face), "if you can't have a sex life without a bedroom, then you have bigger things to worry about than where my child sleeps". Because that is the truth. If you can't have sex except for on a bed in your room, then you seriously have bigger issues than how my family chooses to sleep.

I can only do what feels natural to me. Having my child close to me is what feels natural to us. To some, it only feels right having them in their own bed in their own room. To each their own. My kid is a very well adjusted, smart, independent, thriving child. So no, you don't need to worry yourself about how and where we all sleep because we are all doing just fine=)

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