Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

Today is May is also Mother's Day. Today is a bittersweet day for me. Three years ago on Mother's Day we announced to the family that we were having a baby. Today she is a beautiful 28 month old. On May 13th last year (it was Friday the 13th) I found out that I had lost a pregnancy 24 hours after finding out that I was pregnant. So today I should have a 28 month old and a 4 month old. But it just wasn't God's plan for us to be a family of 4 just yet.

Today was a good day. We all slept til 10 this morning (2nd day in a row that I got to sleep in!). Then we had breakfast and relaxed for a bit. Brandon then gave me my cards and said that I had an option. He had been looking at cameras for me and had gotten burned twice trying to get me one. So then he started looking at tablets and was unsure because I had never shown any interest in one. Truth is, I had never thought of getting one since I have a laptop and a smart phone. Since he had gotten burned on the camera deals he said that either I could take the money and put it up and it could go towards a camera once we found the right one OR we could go tablet shopping today. Well since anytime we put money up for something else, it always gets spent before on other things so I decided that we could go looking at tablets. Long story short, I am now the proud owner of a pretty awesome tablet. I like it much better than my phone(which is a pos) and my laptop(has an incredibly short battery life and has somehow reset itself to where it won't open my preferred browser no matter what I do). My husband is now playing deer hunter on my new tablet while I am blogging on my laptop:)

We went and had lunch with the family and gave Grammy and Memaw their gifts(homemade from Miss E of course). Miss E then decided that she wanted to go with them to look at a house that Michelle is looking to put an offer in on, so that is when Brandon and I took the opportunity to go shopping for my tablet. She wound up eating dinner with them so we went and ate the 2 of us before getting her back. She didn't get a nap so she was kinda cranky, but went right to sleep 30 minutes before her usual nap time.

Before I was a mom I hated Mother's Day to be quite honest. I haven't had a mom in many years to celebrate and pamper on Mother's Day. This day was just always a reminder of what I don't have. But now that I have Miss E, it is different. I'd be lying if I said I don't have hurt feelings and anger, but she has made me so much more. I love being a mother more than I ever thought I would. I can't put into words how much I love my child and my husband for giving me this precious gift. Even though I don't have my own flesh & blood mother (or adopted), I have a mother in law that I think of as a mother. She has been more of a mother to me than my adopted and biological mother ever were. I really believe that she thinks of me as a daughter and not just her son's wife. We have an excellent relationship and I am incredibly lucky to have her. She has been there for me for the better part of a decade and I can't ever thank her enough for all that she has done for me. She is such an amazing example of hoe to be a mother and how to live life. I don't think she will ever realize how much she has influenced my life and made me a better person. 

I am a very lucky woman. When times were really bad, when my biological mother was getting pulled out of the house by cops at 2am, when my adopted mother was telling me that I was nothing and would never be anything, I would pray that one day I would have better. That I would have a family that was full of love. I would pray that even though things seemed hopeless at the time, that God had a bigger plan for me and that one day everything would be okay. 

I am so happy to say that today, everything is okay:)

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

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